A WAY TO SEE THINGS.

You find yourself inside a tower on a spiral staircase, its made of stone, cold and humid. You don't know what floor you are on, but through the spiral you can see a light way up top, and absolute darkness on the bottom. Instinctively you begin to climb up, to find that light that seems to be the way out. Nonetheless, no matter how many steps you climb, that light will be as far away as when you began. Your levels of desperation begin to rise and the faster you climb, the further the light will be.

Tired, you sit on a stone step, cold, and lean on the wall. For an instance, you close your eyes to get yourself back together again, just for a moment. When you open them, determined to reach the top, you realize you are lower than where you began. The cold and the loneliness gain strength. The light that has been guiding you all this time is now a blur in the distance. It's at this moment that you realize that there is no bottom nor an end, there are no exits, and that light is the only hope to find out what you can do.

This, I call depression. This is the depression I live in. There is no way out on your own and your surroundings can push you lower and lower. And the moment you believe you hit rock bottom, let me remind you, there is no bottom.

Before you get to enter this castle, there are certain things that you must recognize. This will be a constant fight with yourself and in no moment must you consciously lose control. There is a moment when you must know that you need professional help. That specific moment is when you begin to have intrusive thoughts.

These are abnormal random thoughts that happen in your mind. They begin by underestimating your own talents or skills, and gain traction until they become thoughts of inflicting self pain or suffering. Some people might say that these thoughts happen all the time. But one thing must remain clear, the more common a subject or situation is seen or lived, it will become normal. And when self deprecation becomes a normal thought, do you think it is normal then to hurt yourself?

Depression, it does not matter what you think of it. It is an issue. It is real. It is damaging and usually not visible.